Giving people feedback is an act of trust and confidence.
» It shows that you believe in their ability to change.
» That you believe they will use the information to become better.
» And that you have faith in their potential.
It’s also a sign of commitment to the team and to the larger purpose and goals of the organization. Because, ultimately, we’re all responsible for our collective success.
Should you really tell people they talk too much? Or dress poorly? Or appear insincere? Or walk all over others?
Without question, you should.
As long as what you say comes from your care and support for the other person — not your sympathy (which feels patronizing) or your power (which feels humiliating) or your anger (which feels abusive) — choosing to offer a critical insight to another is a deeply considerate act.
That doesn’t mean that accepting criticism is easy. But even though it may be difficult, letting someone know what everyone else already knows is the opposite of aggressive.
Aggressive is not giving people feedback and then talking about them and their issues when they aren’t around.
Aggressive is watching them fail and not helping.